Breaking bad habits can feel like wrestling with a stubborn toddler — they don’t listen, they throw tantrums, and they keep showing up at the most inconvenient times. But here’s the thing: your habits, good or bad, aren’t personal flaws or virtues. They’re simply behaviors or thinking patterns. So, if you’ve struggled to break old habits or create new ones, you’re not the problem — you just need science on your side.
In this post, we’ll explore how habits are formed, why some stick and others slip away, and how you can use proven strategies to create lasting change in midlife. Let’s hack your habits — not with sheer willpower, but with a system that works.
Why Midlife is the Perfect Time to Hack Your Habits
Midlife is a time of transition. Careers evolve, kids move out, and health becomes a more urgent priority. With these changes, it’s essential to let go of old patterns that no longer serve you and adopt new habits that align with who you are now. But the key to doing this isn’t more discipline — it’s understanding how habits work at a deeper level and building systems that support lasting change.
Habits Are Neither “Good” nor “Bad”
One important mindset shift is to stop labeling habits as inherently “good” or “bad.” Instead, think of them as patterns of behavior. A habit is simply something your brain has practiced enough times that it now runs on autopilot. If you’ve ever mindlessly reached for your phone first thing in the morning or polished off a bag of chips without realizing it, you’ve experienced the power of automatic behavior.
The trick isn’t to stop these behaviors cold turkey — it’s about finding new patterns to replace them. Bad habits are just habits that have outlived their purpose, and with the right approach, you can swap them out for better ones.
The Science of Habit Formation: It’s Not About Willpower
You’ve probably heard the myth that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Spoiler: it doesn’t. Studies show that building new habits takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days, with the average landing at 66 days. It depends on the person, the habit, and the system in place to support it.
Missing a day or two doesn’t mean you’ve failed or have to start from scratch. You are not a robot, and habits are not all-or-nothing. Repetition is what strengthens the habit over time, and missing a step here and there won’t undo your progress. This means the key to building new habits isn’t perfection — it’s persistence.
Science shows that even people who seem naturally disciplined don’t rely on willpower alone. Instead, they create systems and routines that make it easier for them to follow through.
Why Systems, Not Self-Control, Are the Secret Sauce
People often assume that successful individuals have superhuman self-control, but that’s rarely the case. Instead, they have well-designed systems. Systems reduce decision fatigue by automating behaviors, whether it’s a structured morning routine, a meal prep ritual on Sundays, or setting phone reminders for tasks throughout the day.
When you set up systems, you reduce the friction between intention and action. Rather than struggling to remember what you need to do or relying on motivation (which is fleeting), systems keep you on track.
How to Build Systems That Stick
Breaking or creating habits starts with a system that incorporates the three essential parts of every habit:
1.Trigger: The thing that prompts the behavior.
2.Behavior Pattern: The habit or action itself.
3.Reward: The payoff that reinforces the habit.
Here’s how you can use these components to build better habits and replace old ones:
• Trigger:
Set a reminder on your phone to prompt the behavior. (Example: a morning alarm to check your habit checklist.)
• Behavior Pattern:
Use a checklist or app to track your habits. This can be as simple as using the Notes app on your phone or a physical journal where you tick off each habit you complete. Make it easy to follow.
• Reward:
Celebrate your success by recognizing the progress. The dopamine rush you get from checking off tasks acts as a natural reward, reinforcing the habit over time. Think of it as a little competition with yourself — how many days can you keep the streak going?
How to Remove Resistance and Make Good Habits Easier
A common reason habits don’t stick is resistance. Resistance shows up when the task feels hard or inconvenient. The good news is that you can reduce resistance with a few simple strategies:
• Start Small: If the habit feels overwhelming, shrink it. Instead of saying, “I’ll work out for an hour every day,” commit to 10 minutes. Once you start, it’s easier to keep going.
• Pair Habits: Attach a new habit to an existing one. For example, while waiting for your morning coffee to brew, spend 5 minutes journaling. This concept is called habit stacking and makes it easier to fit new habits into your routine.
• Prepare Your Environment: Make the good habit easy to access. Want to eat more fruit? Keep a bowl of fruit on the counter. Trying to read more? Place a book by your bed. When the behavior requires less effort, you’re more likely to follow through.
Why Cold Turkey Doesn’t Work
Behavior patterns, especially long-standing ones, don’t disappear overnight. This is why trying to quit a bad habit cold turkey is a recipe for failure. When you simply try to stop a behavior without replacing it, you leave a void — and the brain loves to fill voids with familiar patterns.
Instead, replace bad habits with new ones. If your habit is mindlessly scrolling through social media, replace it with something similar but more intentional, like listening to a podcast or going for a walk while listening to music. The goal isn’t to cut out habits but to swap them with ones that align better with your goals.
Midlife Habits That Can Transform Your Life
Here are some key habits to focus on in midlife:
1.Morning Routine:
Start your day with intention. This could include journaling, meditation, or light stretching. Having a predictable morning routine sets the tone for the rest of the day.
2.Mindful Eating:
Eating habits can have a profound impact on your energy levels and overall health. Focus on small, sustainable changes rather than drastic diets.
3.Regular Movement:
Exercise doesn’t have to be intense to be effective. Find activities you enjoy and build them into your routine — walking, yoga, or swimming are great options.
4.Digital Detox:
Set limits on screen time, especially before bed. Use this time for self-care, reading, or spending time with loved ones.
5.Weekly Check-Ins:
Reflect on your habits once a week. Celebrate wins, identify challenges, and adjust your systems as needed.
Example of a Habit System in Action
Here’s a real-life example of how I use systems to stick with my habits:
• Trigger: Every morning, I get a reminder on my phone to check my habit checklist.
• Behavior Pattern: I review my checklist, ticking off tasks like journaling, stretching, and drinking water.
• Reward: The satisfaction of checking everything off gives me a little dopamine boost. I also track my progress over time, turning it into a fun challenge with myself.
This system helps me stay on track without feeling overwhelmed. And if I miss a day? No big deal. I know I’ll pick it back up the next day — because the system is there to support me.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not a Robot, and That’s Okay
Breaking bad habits and forming new ones isn’t about being perfect. It’s about progress. Remember, missing a day doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means you’re human. What matters is that you keep going, adjusting your systems as needed, and staying kind to yourself throughout the process.
Midlife is a time to embrace change, let go of old patterns, and build new habits that align with the life you want to live. With the right systems, a little persistence, and a lot of love for yourself, you can create habits that bring joy and meaning to your daily life.
So, what’s one habit you’ll start working on today? Whatever it is, remember: you’ve got this. Day one is waiting.
THINGS I AM LOVING LATELY
I want to share a few things I have been doing in my own life lately that are honestly making me feel so much better. Healthier. Calmer. More organized. More glowy. Just more like me.
Because I really do believe that a glow-up is built through tiny daily habits. Tiny shifts. Tiny rituals that slowly change how you feel.
THING ONE: My 10-Minute Morning Stretch Ritual
Nothing extreme. Nothing complicated. I just spend about ten minutes stretching in the morning before I do anything else.
And it has helped so much with morning stiffness, with my energy, with my posture, and honestly even with my mood. Women over 40 really need mobility work. Our bodies want movement and circulation and care, especially first thing in the morning.
THING TWO: A Capsule Pantry System
Okay this one sounds more boring than it is. But it has honestly changed the way I eat and the way I feel during the week.
Basically I keep a set of healthy staple foods stocked at all times. Brown rice. Quinoa. Whole grain or protein pasta. Beans. Sugar-free marinara sauce. Tuna packets. Canned salmon. Oatmeal. Greek yogurt. Frozen vegetables. Berries. Nuts. Sparkling water.
THING THREE: Organizing My Fridge by Zones
Okay I know this sounds random. But hear me out, because this has helped me so much.
I set up little sections in my fridge. One area for proteins. One for fruits and vegetables. One for grab-and-go snacks. One for drinks. One for meal prep containers.
Now I actually see the healthy food I bought instead of forgetting about it in the back until it expires. Cooking during the week feels calmer. Meal prep is easier.
THING FOUR: A Cuticle Oil Habit
Okay last one, and it is the smallest one. But I love it so much.
I keep cuticle oil and hand lotion sitting right on my desk at work. And during the day, during a little break, I apply both. That is it. That is the whole habit.
But it makes me feel polished and cared for throughout the day. It is a tiny little signal I send to myself that says — you matter. You deserve to feel nice today.
Set a Big Goal — Then Break It All the Way Down
I have a big goal. I know exactly where I am going. And I have written it down.
Make it a great day, friends!
Love, Jax
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These actions contributed most to my mindset shift and overall midlife glow up.
Make it a great day, friends!
Love, Jax
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How to change your beliefs in life to live more consciously with your chosen purpose and goals with a growth, mindset and a sense happiness.
1. Develop keen and accurate self-awareness.
2. Develop an accurate self-concept.
3. Be truthful to yourself and tell others the truth.
4. Make the connection between current choices and future results.
5. Behave in ways that are for your best interest.
6. Become self protective and self-determined.
Remember any new habit is difficult until we practice it which then it becomes easy. When you shift your mindset and belief system, you will end up creating new habits. You may experience a decrease in comfort level and a sense of security. There may be an experience in increased in anxiety. You will make mistakes and other people may react negatively to your shift in beliefs.
Once you change your beliefs and develop a growth mindset, you will be more self-responsible, more honest with more integrity, more self caring with more set boundaries. You will be able to identify your core values and personal desires. You will make more conscious choices. You will reprogram your subconscious mind. And then you will live a life of joy and happiness and self fulfillment.
I have applied this to my own life and I`ve learned this through getting a life, coaching certification and reading numerous books and assisting women over 40 who are looking to upgrade glow up and improve their lives by becoming one percent better every day.
Make it a great day, friends!
Love, Jax
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Skipping snacks sounded impossible until I learned what “hunger” actually is. Real hunger vs desire vs craving changes everything. Want the exact chart and habits I use for midlife weight loss? Listen now and tell me which one you’ll try?
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✨🌞 Early AM stretching before kettle ball, dumbbells, vibration plate and walking.
♥️ Schedule it. Protect it. Show up for it every week.
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Get an Accountability Partner — and Actually Time-Block Your Check-Ins if you are on a weight loss journey.
I have an accountability partner, actually two accountability partners. And we do not just casually text here and there and hope for the best. We actually time-block our check-ins. We schedule them. We put them in our calendars like real appointments. We connect at least once a week — sometimes in person, sometimes a phone call, sometimes a message — but it is consistent and it is planned.
Your accountability partner should be someone who is genuinely supportive but also honest with you. Someone who celebrates your wins AND holds space when things are hard without just telling you what you want to hear.
Schedule it. Protect it. Show up for it every week.
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🌸 Know your reasons why you want to loose weight. Write them down and read them throughout the day.
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🌸 My 4 Habits, Non-negotiables I`m applying to my life and dream life upgrade.
10 Min. Morning Stretching Everyday
My Capsule Pantry System
My Fridge By Zones
Cuticle Oil Everyday
Simple but not stupid.
I`m building a new dream life and these daily glow ups habits and rituals are helping me get there.
Everyday I try new things to grow and improve and upgrade my midlife lifestyle.
I am on a mission to recreate my dream life over 40.
It is never too late. You can create anything you want with focus, energy and a growth mindset with a positive attitude.
Love,
Jax
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✨ Read the book You are a Badass, By Jen Sincero.
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10 pounds down in 3 weeks at 48 with PCOS and perimenopause, no meds. Total of 191 lbs in 4 years. The twist: the biggest change happened before food and workouts. Want the 14 mindset practices that made it stick? What would you try first?
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Reinvention isn’t luck. It’s a choice made in a quiet moment of honesty.
Save this Glow Drop for the days you forget your power.
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Love,
Jax
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Published in 2013
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New Podcast Episode!!!
"Why your 40s is the best age to finally put your health first!"
Your 40s aren’t a deadline. They’re a turning point. We talk heart health, bone density, muscle, brain fog, and simple shifts that actually work in midlife. Hit play and tell me: what’s one habit you’re starting this week?
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Seven May glow-ups that don’t require a new life: park walks, budget check-in, seasonal meals, hair refresh, nails, and more. Plus a free skincare ritual from my guide. Press play. Which glow-up sounds most like you?
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I love a packed morning routine before work. Really sets up my day.
Wake
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I fast till 12 so no breakfast. Just water & espresso.
Comment and let me know your favorite morning routine practice!
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Love,
Jax
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